Monday, February 1, 2016

Google and I

I use Google extensively, or vice versa, am not so sure on who benefits from whom more but Google has been trying to be extra smart for last few days.
All night long the phone lies still on the bed side table. As soon as I get up and start walking towards the bathroom I get a pop-up on what my travel time would be to reach the office.
The first time I saw that I was completely taken aback but then I put a deep thought into this. I use a google android phone with numerous google applications installed on my phone having unrestricted access to all my data. Clearly in an advanced state of inebriation I have also told google the exact location of my work and where I live which google maps pin points every time I open it. Obviously the first thing I do in the morning is grab my phone as I walk towards the kitchen to drink some water so as not to miss any of the gossip going on the numerous whatsapp groups that I have subscribed to. Clearly as my phone moves, google thinks that it's time to leave for work and starts dictating which buses to take. Google o Google, I have learnt your trick but just fyi - I do not need to take a bus to reach office, I walk !
Then the other day I ordered a new coat from Zara. Two days later it suddenly started prompting me to drop all my work at that very moment and go and pick my parcel. Now google, you may be having all the those minion spiders to do the web crawling for you but in my case, I don't. I am more excited to try my new winter coat but I have a job you know. Also stop reading my emails without my permission, bad manners!
My Google Photos has auto backup enabled. So any photo I take is instantly at Google's disposal to enhance and create unnecessary videos and stories. Dear google, thanks for the help but I am techie enough to know how to enhance my photos to have 200 likes on Facebook. Also when you create a video for me to capture my 2015 highlights of the year at least try to include one of my solo photos as a courtesy for abusing my personal data.
Today as I was trying to wrap up my work early in order to catch the flight, it absolutely threatened me that I had to leave the office at 500 pm else I could kiss goodbye to my vacation.It also told me which tube to take, where to change and where to get off. Just to let you know Google, the husband was smarter than you. He asked me to chill till 530 and btw I still reached on time.
Now ever since I have stepped into Heathrow, it has been constantly showing me Heathrow airport maps and other useless information on how to connect to free WiFi at Heathrow. Google, its free WiFi. You don't need to do anything to connect to free WiFi automatically connects..oh wait ...except if it's something to do with 'Free Basics'. Anyways, I digress.
Anyways you have tried to be oversmart here in London but I am going to India. Let's see who is good at finding roads and who finds the fastest path to the destination. War is on Google...war is on ...



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